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Saturday, May 30, 2009

Art of saying “No”

You have determined and decided to finish an important work today itself, under any circumstances, because it is long-stand pending, and you are ready with full enthusiasm to commence to do that job.

But at that time your friends arrived in group and requested you to go along with them to outside for another purpose (many times unimportant in nature), but out of modesty, you couldn’t say ‘no’ to them and you accompanied them without hesitation.

Most of us face these types of situations in our day to day life. Later on we blame ourselves unnecessarily, for not finishing our job in time.

Why we could not say ‘no ’to them. There are so many causes and reasons, as shown below.

1. Thinking that the other persons might suffer if you refuse their request.
2. They may underestimate you and misunderstand you.
3. You may be ridiculed, for your innocent behavior.
4. Shyness that is naturally present in all of us.
5. Lack of sufficient self- confidence in you.
6. Inner desire to be praised by others, as ’’good person’’.
7. under the impression that it is always well and good to be obedient that too with low-esteem to others.
8. With selfish- motto, today or tomorrow that you will be benefitted by the other person’s power, wealth, intelligence, so it is better to develop good rapport with them from now onwards.
9. To be great in other’s opinion.
10. Treating the other person as god-like and ready to do anything for his sake, and for sustaining their friendship at any cost.
11. Having slave- mentality.
12. To fulfill his personal ambitions, with other person’s help.
13. To pass time indulging in some habits, as he has no strong aim to achieve in life.
14 Thinking that if he refused to oblige their wish, next time he will have to face the same music from them.

What are the consequences, that we have to face, if we failed to say ‘’NO’’?

i) We indulge in bad habits, unnecessarily and it causes mental agony in the family members
ii) We lose both our wealth and health.
iii) We are looked down in the society.
iv). Often, we quarrel with our family members show anger on them without reason and season.
V). Time is wasted without any benefit to us.

How to say ‘no’?

1. Develop self-confidence and be firm to say ‘no’ (instead of ‘yes’), if you think that your friends’ requests are not worthy to do and follow.

2. Try to change your mentality and gradually develop the habit of saying ’no ’to false commands and demands of your colleagues.

3. Note down on a paper the amount you last within the last one week or in the past one month and also the loss of your health.

4. Everything will be alright within a short period of time and your friends also won’t dare to call you for attending such situations which are not good and unhealthy in nature.

5. Now on wards, you have the real enjoyment and plenty of mental peace in your valuable life, which is given by God, the Almighty.

Please share your experiences in saying “No