Mother's Day Special

A mother is a person who seeing there are only four pieces of pie for five people, promptly announces she never did care for pie. ~Tenneva Jordan


Hundreds of dewdrops to greet the dawn,
Hundreds of bees in the purple clover,
Hundreds of butterflies on the lawn,
But only one mother the wide world over.
~George Cooper


Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs... since the payment is pure love. ~Mildred B. Vermont


The sweetest sounds to mortals given
Are heard in Mother, Home, and Heaven.
~William Goldsmith Brown


A suburban mother's role is to deliver children obstetrically once, and by car forever after. ~Peter De Vries


If the whole world were put into one scale, and my mother in the other, the whole world would kick the beam. ~Lord Langdale (Henry Bickersteth)


All mothers are working mothers. ~Author Unknown



It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller


The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh


Woman in the home has not yet lost her dignity, in spite of Mother's Day, with its offensive implication that our love needs an annual nudging, like our enthusiasm for the battle of Bunker Hill. ~John Erskine


A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. ~Author Unknown


Sweater, n.: garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. ~Ambrose Bierce


Women's Liberation is just a lot of foolishness. It's the men who are discriminated against. They can't bear children. And no one's likely to do anything about that. ~Golda Meir




God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers. ~Jewish Proverb


Motherhood is priced
Of God, at price no man may dare
To lessen or misunderstand.
~Helen Hunt Jackson


Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother. ~Oprah Winfrey


You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back. ~William D. Tammeus


Now that... my kids are grown, I understand how much work and love it takes to raise and to keep a family together. The example of your strength, devotion, and patience is now rippling through the generations. Thank you! ~Forest Houtenschil


My mom is a neverending song in my heart of comfort, happiness, and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. ~Graycie Harmon






Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone





Setting a good example for your children takes all the fun out of middle age. ~William Feather, The Business of Life, 1949


Your responsibility as a parent is not as great as you might imagine. You need not supply the world with the next conqueror of disease or major motion-picture star. If your child simply grows up to be someone who does not use the word "collectible" as a noun, you can consider yourself an unqualified success. ~Fran Lebowitz, "Parental Guidance," Social Studies, 1981


This heart, my own dear mother, bends,
With love's true instinct, back to thee!
~Thomas Moore


Getting down on all fours and imitating a rhinoceros stops babies from crying. (Put an empty cigarette pack on your nose for a horn and make loud "snort" noises.) I don't know why parents don't do this more often. Usually it makes the kid laugh. Sometimes it sends him into shock. Either way it quiets him down. If you're a parent, acting like a rhino has another advantage. Keep it up until the kid is a teenager and he definitely won't have his friends hanging around your house all the time. ~P.J. O'Rourke



I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~Dan Wilcox and Thad Mumford, M*A*S*H, "Identity Crisis,"


Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik


Where we love is home - home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.


In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. ~Albert Schweitzer


You can always tell a real friend: when you've made a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job. ~Laurence J. Peter


Let us be grateful to people who make us happy, they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom. ~Marcel Proust


If I had a single flower for every time I think about you, I could walk forever in my garden. ~Attributed to Claudia Ghandi